For years I’ve been asking people to tell me about their hopes and dreams but maybe I should change the question because I’m more interested lately in ‘tell me what makes you feel safe.’  Say: sitting with my back to the wall in restaurants.  When I call my mother and she tells me about the birds she’s seen.  Knowing my way around so I can come back from being lost.  Teetotaling.  Having my down parka in the bitter cold.  You get a lot of different answers from people, when you ask, but it’s maybe too personal to ask a new acquaintance.  Oh, sure, not like hopes and dreams, strangers are dying to tell you those.  Whatever.

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Some great things from the past few days:

having a heart attack about “Trap Queen”

great USD-CAD conversion rates


homemade bread with ricotta and jam

someday soon I’ll get to see the Kevin Costner running movie

did I mention “Trap Queen”

oh and the menswear-spy movie with the British youths

winter is unending but it’s crossed into just straight hilarity for me

planning an amazing Oscars feast

still not over the “Style” video

that’s enough things, right?  february is going so well!

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I’ve been making a lot of yeasted doughs lately–pizza, cinnamon rolls, bread–and it has to rise in a warm place, but this is Montreal in the depths of winter so the warmest place in this apartment is usually next to me, under a blanket as I read a young-adult novel about poetry or whatever.  My mother found this hilarious.  She told me that when she used to make bread she’d rise the dough in the oven with a pan of warm water underneath, which is more sensible I guess but it never occurred to me.  Anyway, I bake with love, and most of the things I make are delicious, it’s truly a shame that I don’t know more people because I want to give everyone nice slice of toast.

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Grammys were boring but I made pizza from scratch and watched them with my friend and The Weeknd wore a velvet blazer, so those were nice things.

Sometimes when I can’t sleep I try to figure out which show the characters in The Flash are actually acting for.  I got most of them I think:

Dr. Snow: Grey’s Anatomy

Dr. Wells: works for the Dharma Initiative

Cisco: some Syfy original series

Barry: magazine spread for this season’s v-necks

Jesse L. Williams: still Law & Order

Iris: cardboard cutout of Lois Lane

I love The Flash with an intensity it does not deserve.  The CTV Tuesday night lineup goes The Flash-Agent Carter-Person of Interest and it is such a good night.  Sometimes I wonder if my neighbors hear me shrieking but most of the time I don’t care because PEGGY CARTER, ahhhhhh.

Other things I am interested in: rompers, Thai chicken soup, twirling and pinning my hair on top of my head like a bird-nested Gibson girl, the terrible Victoria Justice show on MTV (Eye Candy), “Pensando en Voce,” the phrase ‘this moment, and this one, and this one.’


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I woke up in the middle of the night covered in anxious sweat like I was about to take an exam and I couldn’t remember what I’d been dreaming.  Then I fell back asleep and dreamed about an all-cat remake of West Side Story called Cat Side Story and when I got up this morning it was snowing.

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Hiiiiiiiii!  Here is a list:

  • the wind chill this morning was -31, which is in Celsius, but honestly once you go that low it doesn’t really matter
  • the Super Bowl is tomorrow but so is the premiere of MASTERCHEF CANADA, the greatest reality show of our time
  • I was up past midnight last night and CBC showed a Tokyo Police Club concert, it was all very Canadian
  • speaking of being fourteen again, I listened to the new-ish OK Go album and hated it, normally I don’t care about overproduction but ughhhhhh
  • ate some bulgogi, it was if not life-changing then at least meaningful
  • dreams about the apocalypse, dreams about napping, dreams about being perpetually harried and late for things and unprepared
  • all the Targets in Canada will be gone soon, which is a blow to my consumerist heart
  • oh and apparently the Dad’s Bagels in NDG is closing too, also sad
  • that is all
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This is one of the first songs I loved in 2015.  I played it for a friend yesterday and she physically cringed, it was hilarious.

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